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#570274 Effing women/girlfriends

Posted by Gizmo86 on 04 July 2013 - 07:41 AM

Oh hi, woman here. You probably don't want my opinion seeing as I have a growler but here it is: maybe it's the type of girl you go for? If you go for lasses mainly based on looks then prepare to get treated like poop. They're all the same, know they're gorgeous and use it to play men like a game of scrabble. I used to be in to the whole 'bad boy' lads and guess what, got treated like crap everytime. Then a little plumber asked me out. I'd never even given him a second glance really, probably because his car was French. I wasn't really interested at first so said no but then thought f*ck it, you don't know til you try! 4 years down the line we're engaged, have a mortgage, 2 dogs and matching toothbrushes. So, my advice would be to go for someone who has the same interests, makes you laugh and would give up the world for you. Until she comes along, enjoy life with friends and family, cherish your car and stroke your own willy. The end.
  • farmer, Jet9, Keyser Soze and 18 others like this

#2253609 is this crack right or is he filling me full of shit...

Posted by MIQ on 08 March 2016 - 08:12 PM

Can you type that in English as Google won't translate Chav to English for me so I do not know what it says

You get me
  • Gti Fly, Michelle, TheJam and 11 others like this

#2193569 Ultimate Dubs

Posted by MIQ on 11 January 2016 - 12:27 PM

To be accepted you need
1, to be in early 20's and live with your mum
2, have a brand new top of the range VAG on finance
3, have air ride on finance
4, have vossen wheels on finance
5, have a ICE install on finance
6, have homosexual relations with 1 or more of the organizers

That completes my list LOL
  • DougalR, lee_shep, Brend4nn and 11 others like this

#935090 No one will play :(

Posted by JamesBaby on 03 December 2013 - 03:36 PM

The guy in the Focus was probably mature, and happy to enjoy his own car without behaving like a teenage saxo driver.
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#533234 Who's who??

Posted by Anakin on 25 March 2013 - 08:32 PM

Hi my Name is Neil, I'm 39 and I'm an alcoholic.
  • dubzter, farmer, TwoCollieForThirty and 9 others like this

#2154737 Do Your Duty And Help The UK

Posted by cuprabob on 21 November 2015 - 12:55 PM

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. Economy by spending
your 'Winter Fuel’ cheque wisely:

* If you spend the money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to Gibraltar,
Ireland & Luxemburg

*If you spend it on Amazon your money will go Lichtenstein

*If you spend it on ebay your money will go to Ireland

* If you spend it on petrol your money will go to the Arabs

* If you purchase a computer it will go to India, Taiwan or China

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Kenya, Spain or Morocco

* If you spend it in your corner “Asian mini-mart” no tax will be paid, it
will be used in drug deals and eventually will be conveyed to Pakistan in a
large suitcase to fund terrorism.

* If you spend it on “cheap” cigs it will end up in Romania or Bulgaria

* If you give it to Oxfam 20% only will go abroad and 80% will remain in the
hands of the administrators, who will spend it on fact finding missions to
Cayman Islands, Thailand & Mauritius.

* If you buy a foreign car it will go to Japan,Germany, France, India
or Korea.

* If you buy a British car it will go to Japan, Germany or India.

* If you pay off your credit cards or buy shares, it will go to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore

Instead, keep the money in the UK by:

1. Spending it at car boot sales
2. Going to night clubs
3. Spending it on call girls
4. Buying cider, beer or scotch
5. Getting yourself a tattoo
6. Visiting a bookie

(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. )


Go to a night club with a tattooed call girl that you met at a car boot sale
and drink beer day and night !

It’s the patriotic thing to do.bgrin.gif

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#1057177 How do you drive your car ?

Posted by MIQ on 22 January 2014 - 06:34 PM

Right all, not sure if its been discussed before or not but just posting to see if anyone else feels the same about how they drive their car....

My car is driven daily to work and back, weekends are mostly spent cleaning followed by a nice slow drive around since its so clean. Since owning the car i have not once redlined it, infact ive not even gone over 5k revs. Its the same with how i corner in the car, nothing is excessive.

I also follow every speed limit by the book, as soon as the speed limit changes, i drop/increase my speed (learnt my lesson from previous points) The quickest ive done in the r32 is 70 mph !! i did more in my Golf SDI beforehand (thats where the points come from ha ha)

Don't get me wrong, my last car, which was a quarter of the power of my R32 was driven a lot harder, but still never redlined, for some reason i just cant bring myself to thrash my car. it was for me, purely bought for the sound, how it looks and how rare they are in comparison to other cars out there.

Whats everyone else's view ?


Sent from my iPhone 9 in a Time Machine
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#917722 Steamy windows

Posted by PaulW on 26 November 2013 - 06:36 PM

Open a window when you knocking one out
  • vrt, DougalR, raiden and 8 others like this

#531627 RJH

Posted by cuprabob on 22 March 2013 - 09:40 PM

I am Cuprabob:-)
  • BoltonR32, alecmack, birdiemachine and 8 others like this

#482519 You know you're driving an R32 when....

Posted by SplitPersonality on 11 November 2012 - 10:34 PM

You look down to realise you've done 20 miles with out putting a CD on.

You then decide, you know what? I'll leave it off for another 20, when I'll then hit the motorway and the engine noise won't be as entertaining.

Good night R32 and god bless.
  • gibbsy, sc00byd00byd00, MalakianCigaro and 8 others like this

#1985097 A story I wanted to share.

Posted by SIMNO-44 on 02 July 2015 - 04:57 PM

So.. I Just rocked up at the local CO-OP For some cheese.. As you do.

As I steps out of my car machine I am greeted by a damsel in distress on the phone to her bell of a husband who is attempting to instruct his fine lady to get down and dirty with a puncture on 18 inch cast alloys.

I says "fear not fair lady.. I'm a Greece monkey.. Open your compartments and show me your goods." (No I actually did)

As one proceeds to change damsels tyre I am hooted and disrupted by a buffoon in an *iv got a big ego machine.*

"Move" I am instructed abruptly.
"Your legs and tools are in the bay I want"

One doesn't reply and allows buffoon to continue his merry ranting and hooting as damsel bids a hasty retreat to the safe sanctuary of the bread Isle.

As the buffoon begins to get red faced and puffy over the developing situation I achieve my goal.. Remove the stricken tyre And replace it with its spare.

Before informing damsel of the good news I am keen to assess the stricken wheel and upon doing so I find a nice chunky screw embedded deep witch I remove and gently place on the floor behind me.

Buffon pulls in at speed narrowly avoiding my feet slams his big man door and proceeds stomping in the direction of the shop that I later discover has run out of his choice of cigarets... Nawww poor love.

One then goes about my day.. Damsel pleased and off on her new journey to beat her bell husband to a pulp. My choice of cheese is successful and on return to my car machine I note that the screw I placed to the curb side has since been displaced/removed/vacated..

A few moments later I pass the afore mentioned buffoon... Road side.. Now in the rain tending to what would appear to be..... a puncture on his big ego machine.


Ahhhhh. Today... Was a good day.

Sent from AutoGuide.com Free App
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Posted by Wayne on 08 March 2013 - 08:06 PM

Ban car32 someone (cant get on admin page here)
  • Oliver73, alecmack, Clifford7162 and 7 others like this

#496111 R32 on way to heaven :-(

Posted by cuprabob on 21 December 2012 - 06:22 PM

At least you're ok, at the end of the day it's just metal plastic and rubber , you're the important bit

Reminds me of an incident many years ago when I dropped a bike and put my leg underneath it to protect the fairing. I was told "you could have broke your leg" to which I replied " those fairing panels are £500 but I can get my leg fixed for free on the NHS":-)
  • vrt, flinty, andy4motion and 7 others like this

#457625 S3 to R32 should I?

Posted by JamesBaby on 25 August 2012 - 10:00 PM

I came from an S3 07 plate. here's my 2p.

Get a mint mk4 mate. Say goodbye to lifeless steering, turbo lag, and, unless you have buckets, awful standard seats.

Say hello to V6 roar, sumptuous road feel and driving experience, unique standout styling, and mod heaven with your wallet as your only limit.

Oh and the best forum, with great folk who love their cars and love helping others.

Get the car to drive, not to store in a garage. Don't keep it shiny for when you sell it, or to leave in a will when you get run over by a bus. Keep it shiny cos it's yours, and you'll be dammed if you are letting it go before its got 200k on it.

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#2073026 Had the best job interview!

Posted by Oliver73 on 07 September 2015 - 07:25 PM

So a couple of weeks ago I got an interview for an amazing job doing what I went to uni for (designing).

I get there, and the nice lady greets me, and puts me in the meeting room while we wait for the other guy doing the interview to turn up. I'm alone in this room for a few minutes, and sure enough the guy appears. We say hello etc and have a bit of a chat, until he asks "Is that your golf outside?" (the r32 was parked outfront clean and shiny) to which I reply "yeah!" and he says "aww! I have a mk1 gti!!!" and a VW conversation ensues!

I started today :D
  • cuprabob, Jet9, DougalR and 7 others like this

#1473257 How to make exhaust pop and spit flames??

Posted by Dazm on 21 July 2014 - 09:49 PM

Seen many mk4 R32 pop flames in videos. So I was just wondering how theydo it. Some have turbos and some have remaps. Well mine has a stage 1 remap with 257bhp. Full milltek straight thru with high sports flow. Anyone know how I could be able to pop flames and bang bang bang!!!

Shame the OC is going this way...........
  • pomme, dazr32, Paul_N and 7 others like this

#1386241 290 - 300bhp without forced induction??

Posted by cuprabob on 07 June 2014 - 06:47 PM

Jusr put a standard car on AMD's rollers, job done, no expense required:-)
  • VR6Rich, nigp007, Hulmie and 7 others like this

#2257266 Project 6R32T

Posted by climiefish on 12 March 2016 - 11:54 AM

Little update to share a work of ART!

Due to a influx of work contracts I have been working abroad most of 2016 and not had a moment to touch the 6R32T project.
But I had a nice message last night the turbo manifold was finished.....and boy what an awesome piece of work....cant wait to see it for real.

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#2170649 Tej's MK5 R32 DSG HPA Turbo Build!

Posted by Tejinder on 11 December 2015 - 06:55 PM

So with the car running better than ever I decided a trip to Shakespeare raceway was in order. My previous set up PB was 12.51@107. This was on the old clutch packs, old intercooler and old tyres. I went to Shakespeare with high hopes...

Some pics from Shakey

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and all the all important timing slip!

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NEW PERSONAL BEST! Managed a 12.09@113.6 pass on only 12.5psi and 400bhp. I was over the moon! Couldn't believe my home made intercooler and other small tweaks made such a big difference

Theres plenty more to come in the future as I have all the parts I need to go for more power.
  • BamBam, DougalR, Lucifer and 6 others like this

#1991169 GTI International 2015 - Picture Thread :)

Posted by Michelle on 07 July 2015 - 09:29 AM

As always - Here’s some of my pictures from Saturday at GTI International. There will be more to follow once I have gone through the rest plus lots of Sunday pictures :)

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